In my Opinion :  One Time Watch, no logic but just for a good laugh.

As i had planned of going for a night show of the movie i got enough time to talk to my friends who have seen it already. Most of them were against the movie and then there were a few who called it a laughter riot. It is then that i realized that almost all the negative reviews that i heard were from women! I completely respect their opinion but it made me ponder over the fact that the reason behind it is that today times have changed and marriage is not a priority. So the beautiful, independent, working women for sure hated the story line where four women act dumb and are constantly fooled by one man throughout the movie. All they care for is to get married to him, get dolled up, keep 'Karwa Chauth' for him and nothing else. How is that possible ? 
Let me help you with the plot.

The story revolves around Kumar Shiv Ram Kishan aka SRK (Kapil Sharma) who is a wealthy man, by god's grace as no where in the movie it is shown that what does Kapil do apart from marrying?  SRK gets ‘accidentally’ married to three women and how these 'accidents' happen are narrated in the first fifteen minutes.The most bizarre ways that anyone can get married, our hero gets through them all and gets married thrice.

 Simran (Simran Kaur Mundi), Juhi (Manjari Fadnnis) and Anjali (Sai Lokur) are the three gorgeous ladies that Shiv Ram Kishan is married to, of course with different names. Interestingly, apart from three wives, he also has a bombshell girlfriend named Deepika (Elli Avram) who loves Kumar, SRK's first name.

Like Batman has Robin the same way Kumar’s sidekick in this story is Karan (Varun Sharma). He is a lawyer, old friend and a problem solver for SRK. With his amazing 'science' and 'Newton Laws' he keeps the wives and SRK's nosy Champa Bai (Jamie Lever) at check and helps to continue the drama.

To make SRK's life easy Karan suggests him to shift all at one place so that its easily manageable. He shifts all of them in one building on different floors and even gets Karan to shift to the top floor of the same building in order to keep him always around to help.

Even after three 'accidental' wives, SRK dares to plan his FOURTH wedding with the love of his life Deepika. What happens then is the movie all about.

Trust me if you think i have told you the story and now your film will be no fun, then you sir are wrong!  This is exactly what they have already shown in the promos, but what surprised me was why did a director duo like Abbas- Mustan pay Anukalp Goswami ? They could have easily called David Dhawan as such stories, Mr. Dhawan Sr. can cough out in his sleep.

 There is no head or tail to the story. It defies all logic but does give moments to laugh throughout. 

Abbas-Mustan have been the famous director duo for their genre of suspense / thriller films with this movie its their switch for the first time from their forte. I guess the duo pulled their inspiration from David Dhawan style of film making. But even in those movies a man was only shown caught up between two wives, here it is three and still counting! It is a situational comedy so, the film does make one laugh out loud at some points where 'Nootan Laws' are explained or the confusion is shown and you end up laughing at the absurdity of it all. Having said that i would like to add that the film belongs to 90's as it is heavily inspired by movies like, Saajan chaley sasuraal, Gharwali-Baharwali, Coolie No.1 and more such. Honestly, if that was the benchmark then you can easily understand what was achieved as the movie lacked the expression, comic timing of Govinda-Kader khan level. 

Acting wise Kapil was good in comedy but other parts he falls flat. Dancing,drama, emotional scenes, monologues are something where the moment he began, i wished to say, " Tumsey naa ho paayega". Especially, the drunk scene on terrace, its fake and he couldn't even fake it. When he is delivering emotional speech, you always fear he might not end up cracking a joke. That is the difference between a Govinda and a Kapil Sharma in such roles. One knows how to fill the loop holes with his expressions and performance, the other one has no idea till now where the loop hole is. Having said that a few of Kapil's punchlines are kick ass for which he is well known. The ‘Karva Chauth’ scene is a true 'B-grade trademark', i mean that big and bright a moon can only look if 'Bruce Almighty' wants, Period.

There is a lot of beauty in the movie, Manjari Fadnnis, Sai Lokur and Simran Kaur Mundi are actually good for whatever little screen time they get. But i failed to understand that how can they think a wife (in this case THREE) will not be able to recognize their husband just because there is cake smeared all over his face? How can anyone possibly be that dumb ?  

 This is Elli Avram's second film after Mickey Virus, she does well and looks stunning. Her character is also shown half developed, a girl whose father (Manoj Joshi) is shown to be a very big businessman but only keeps people at job who have a picture of their life partner. I know some weird stuff, i couldn't digest too.
Supriya Pathak and Sharat Saxena play Kapil’s parents and despite having small roles, they have done pretty good work.

Varun Sharma and Arbaaz Khan are brilliant in this film. 'Makkhi' and 'Choocha' are two actors who portray their roles so well that for the scenes they come on screen one almost sure laughs. Jamie Lever as Champa Bai is also fun to watch, true portrayal of the arrogant lot of Mumbai House maids. 

The cinematography and screenplay are two of the worst departments of the film. In the already illogical plot, the background score of the movie is another pain. Music wise 'Bum bum' and 'Samandar main' are two songs that are okay but none good enough to linger on. 

The problem with this movie is that the characters are not developed properly,no back story of the characters gives it a feel of a comedy show. From beginning till the end no one finds out what  business exactly Kumar is into that he maintains three wives, one girl friend, a useless lawyer friend , a nosy kaamwali Bai, three flats in a posh locality, ride a Harley Davidson, drive a sports car and sit in a fancy office in Mumbai! 

How? Simply How is that possible ?

Just when you ask yourself all such questions let me remind, you are watching a film that is based in the 90's but released in 2015. So it defies logic, go to the theatres for a good laugh with family and don't think how, when, what ?    If you liked David Dhawan movies in 90's then you sure will enjoy, else stay home and watch Comedy Nights.

EVEREST

IN MY OPINION : ONE TIME WATCH for breath taking visuals, that's it!

(Food for Thought:  There is a scene in the beginning when the team reaches Nepal and is travelling in a local bus the song that's playing in their back ground is " Ye Ladki Haaye Allah" from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. I wish to ask the director if the movie was made on 1996 expedition then how can there be a song playing in the bus of a Bollywood movie that released in India in 2001! )

Team of EVEREST

To begin with, Its not that i am against adventure but i would not want to go deep sea diving in the Marianas Trench,or fly an airplane deliberately over Bermuda's Triangle, same way i could never understand why someone would wish to go to the highest peak in the world where in the words of Rob Hall (Jason Clarke) "bodies literally start dying". Then why would a team including journalist, businesswoman, mail-man and adventure junkies go through the suffering leaving behind families to be taken care of ? 

Michael Kelly plays Jon Krakauer a Journalist from Outlook who went for the Everest Expedition,1996. In that one scene of the movie where he is sitting with the characters over drinks at the base camp and asks, " Why do they wish to climb the summit ? Why any summit for that matter? " And no one amongst them has a real reason. None of the climbers know the reason as to what brought them to conditions “not meant for human survival”

Having said that i am not denying that it takes immense amount of courage to even try such a thing. But courage without wisdom always results bad and that is something that happens to the group. Everest is a film that recounts the real story of 1996 expedition team for which the adventure turned into a nightmare due to extreme weather conditions. While it definitely is not a cheerful story, the way it's put together is appealing. 

Coming to the plot, A group of adrenaline junkies comes together under an adventure camp named ADVENTURE CONSULTANTS, that arranges help, training and assistance for such people. This group is led by Rob Hall(Jason Clarke) who is the tour leader and  has earned a reputation after conducting successful expeditions to Everest. He is that one responsible man who constantly keeps reminding people that, he is there not just to take his team up but to bring them down safely.

 On the contrary there is another carefree camp leader Scott Fischer (Jake Gyllenhaal) who gives does not believe in preparing much, but enjoying life to the fullest till it lasts, merry making and keeping the 'fun' alive. They start as rival camp leaders but as the base camp gets overcrowded and one incident in the beginning teaches them that its better to climb together they join hands. 

Beck Weathers(Josh Brolin) is a character that suffered health issues during the climb in real at 'THE BALCONY' and somehow survived and came back alive due to the efforts of his wife Peach Weathers(Robin Wright) who called the embassies and made sure that her husband is picked from camp 1, which is not a place where helicopters generally fly but they have to make an exception that results in saving Beck's life. But that one shot cinematically is  breathtaking, the way the pilot makes the helicopter jump and then suddenly pulls back up is something that is jaw dropping. Not every wife is able to help their husband the way Peach does and hence we see a lot many die in the film and those who actually did die in 1996.

EVEREST played by The Mt. Everest is the biggest star of all in this movie. The visuals are amazing and provide a complete 3-D experience. No amount of Passion, professional training and equipment or preparation helps above there, "The Mountain has the last say". 

Everest emphasizes on creating the awareness  as to how dangerous situations are up there and no one can predict what, how and when can happen facing extreme freezing weather at ridiculously high altitudes. 

Everest route map

People generally cough up blood,suffer from hypoxia, lose their vision, and even literally freeze to death and if one dies there people or the team members leave you right there and come back as its the hardest thing to carry someone and try to make way as said by Scott, "1 pound on ground is equal to 10 pounds on Everest!" 

There are plenty of humorous scenes that find the climbing crew joking around and enjoying themselves as in one scene when rob is getting all ready for the climb; Scott offers him a beer and says, "sit down man, climatize". 

The script co written by William Nicholson and Simon Beaufoy. Simon is famously known for Slumdog Millionaire and has tried his best to get the real story of the climbers and the hardships that one has to face to be seen by all.That place does not offer adventure and it isn't a fun ride no matter how much money you have, it wont care.

 
The movie is inspired from Jon Krakeur’s bestseller, Into Thin Air that describes what happened on top of Everest on the fateful day that took lives of 8 people. It shows how Everest throws everything in the way of the climbers, from storms and avalanches to treacherous ice falls and makes sure that they bow in front of the power of nature. 

Everest has some brilliant actors to its credits,Jason Clarke, Jake Gyllenhaal, Josh Brolin, Keira Knightley, Emily Watson,John Hawkes and others but the characters are not well defined and thus are not used to their complete potential. Half of the time its a task to recognize characters as with jackets , glasses and hoods they almost look same and thus after a while one gets attached to all of them and every time a character is in trouble you move in your chair to try and help, such is the Direction of Baltasar Kormakur and cinematography of Salvatore Totino. In a movie where it’s  not easy to keep track of the characters,the visuals make the audience connect to characters. When someone is dying or hanging, we wish they survive till the end.

Everest does justice to the true story. To climb Everest is equal to fighting THE BEAST, who shows no mercy. Many people go for adventure to such places, and it should be remembered before hand not everyone comes back. Same happened in 1996 and happens every time people try as a group to climb the 'monster' it takes the life of some.Anyways, the whole movie ends but no one replies to the question, "What brings the non- climbers to conditions, not meant for the living”?  

Guess the answer dies with them there, who so ever plans to go next do let them know, "This Mountain ALWAYS has the last say".

NOTE : From this week onwards i will be adding a section, IN MY OPINION since i am not qualified enough to pass on a VERDICT. OPINION is my way of trying to say things in less words. It will be out of three choices  : Must Watch / One time watch / Don't Watch.

'KATTI BATTI'  IN MY OPINION : DON'T WATCH if you are paying, ONE TIME WATCH if you get a free ticket and good company ;)

KATTI BATTI  REVIEW

Nikhil Advani ! Does this name ring a bell ? You must remember the man! NO? He made HERO ! Yes the one that gave me nightmares just last week. So, Mr. Advani came back again and i thought with some level of improvement but all i got was disappointment. Guess he has some issues going on and has lost his mojo. Two amazing movies back to back two consecutive week, his inability to Direct a film is completely exposed now. 

Anyways before i "be-izzat" the direction, let me walk you through the story and characters in brief. But before we move ahead, hope you all know that this film was previously being named "Saali Kutiya" but to save censor drama Nikhil Advani  did the sensible thing and changed it to Katti Batti.

Katti Batti is oldest wine in an old bottle. The recipe of this movie is quite simple; 500 Days of Summer, Salaam Namaste, Cocktail and Nikhil's own superhit Kal Ho Naa Ho, pour the scripts of these movies in a juicer ,let the machine work for a while,  now filter down the contents and the tasteless (for most part of it) juice you get is 'Katti Batti'. Even the recently famous song 'Lip to lip' that video idea is copied from Coldplay's Strawberry swing.

 Must say so much of hard work Nikhil puts in for originality !

But i must add just when you are about to finish the glass of tasteless juice served , in the bottom of it is the main ingredient that settled down while serving and that is when you get the real taste and you feel a little 'contented'.

Imran is playing an Architect for the third time in his movie list. He's a love-struck puppy in this movie who cries to everyone and around everyone. This character is an amalgamation of Joseph Gordon Levit's , TOM from 500 days of Summer and Preity Zinta's, NAINA from Kal Ho Naa Ho !   From the look,profession, glasses, to crying and confessing of love and not letting go even after knowing the reality of the person you love is what both TOM and NAINA were about. MADHAV KABRA aka MADDY is exactly the same, even more. For instance he drinks phenyl thinking its BEER.. I am serious!

Kangana's character PAYAL is shown to be mysterious all through the film. Her Character is a mixture of  Deepika Padukone's VERONICA from Cocktail and Shahrukh Khan's AMAN from Kal Ho Naa Ho. Revealing anymore about her and the movie will be of no good. Kangana has nothing much to do for 85 % of this movie. Both Imran and Kangana play it like a test innings with singles per over and bore us but the moment the innings come to near end and she realizes that she needs to score. Last over is about sixes and you finally get to see Kangana Ranut the actress that she is famous for with Imran in tow but only if you sustain the boredom that long. 

Coming back to the movie, the narrative style resembles a lot with 500 days of summer but Nikhil is no Mark Webb. The scenes to me look distorted more than edited. The screenplay is poor and even dialogues don't help. Its the last where it takes a turn and actors are able to do something meaningful. One unpardonable glitch is that there is no relation between  Payal and her back story. Kangana's father is announced to be a big doctor and mom a Head of multiple big charitable N.G.O's and yet their daughter goes through so much in the movie but no one comes to her side not even when its essential for parents to be around. 

Supporting actors are equally irritating. The most annoying part of the film, however, is the unnecessarily infused characters and their comedy. One idiotic boss who is South Indian and therefore speaks Ramaaaa and Lakshmanaaaaa with an extra emphasis on 'a' in the end.

'Devi-KA'  a sexy female colleague with extra display of cleavage, in almost every scene of hers. Two more annoyying characters of this movie include; Imraan's younger sister who acts like a mother and is opposite to her screen name KOYAL, and Imran's best friend who is completely useless and keeps reminding him of the fact. "Main tera best friend hoon."  And And And not to forget the out of the blue friends of Imran in DELHI who help him to get the girl back, a band of Frustrated One Sided Lovers named F.O.S.L.A,  Need i say more.  *Facepalm*

The cinematography by Tushar Kanti Ray is beautiful. Its his maturity that captures some beautiful emotions and reactions of actors. Also i think the writer and director have some issue with live-in relationship, the movie starts with the boy telling a girl that "its weird"  and the same line in different manner is repeated throughout the movie. 

Music by Shankar Ehsaan Loy is much better from the entire plot and is a soothing escape from the non sense at times but its not upto KHNH level!  Mohan Kannan's Ove Jaaniya is one song that connects. 

Connect se yaad aaya, this is what this movie lacks. It shows so many emotions that a heart broken person goes through but not even one scene makes you feel connect to him or her until the last half an hour, where i think the real movie is. But guess its too late by then, as the minute a person feels connection with characters: THE END.

HERO  (2015)

How i wish this poster to have stayed this way! How i wish this movie would have never seen the light of day. There is something called as FILM MAKING, which was highly neglected throughout by Nikhil Advani. No logic, no connection, just a random cast doing random things.

The 1983 original by the Showman and one of the best directors of the time Subhash Ghai Sir was a classic. Jackie Shroff  became the heartthrob of the nation. Meenakshi Sheshadri looked beautiful and acted her part beautifully, that Laxmikant - Pyarelal music, and that flute...its playing in my head while typing this. It was such a brilliant movie, and gave our industry an equally brilliant actor. He was and looked every bit the character he played. The most important aspect of being a director is to understand the demand of your character and cast accordingly, in which Mr. Ghai was a master of his time and Nikhil Advani i guess has no say. 


All characters appearing in this next paragraph are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or dead should be plainly apparent to them and those who know them.
Some 30 years later Salman Khan, having earned way too much money from his recent releases was thinking of investing some amount in his production house. So one fine night sitting with Aditya Pancholi and Sunil Shetty clicking glasses, he must have told them about his wish to produce a movie with youngsters, some newbies. Aditya Pancholi must have said, "Bagal mein baccha and Sheher mein dhindhora", seeing him Sunil Shetty also jumped in to take a gift wrapped movie back home. As Bhai was in High Spirits, he promised his friends that, 'Thy will be done'. That one night gave us this HERO & HEROINE !

Coming back to the movie,it follows the 1983 plot; Sooraj, a local goon kidnaps Radha, daughter of Inspector General of Police to save his Pasha Baba from jail term.( Apparently Sooraj's mother called Pasha brother and sooraj calls him Baba, a very Indrani Mukerjea relation) 

The girl is shown to be as dumb as it gets and is still dealing with her teenage issues and 'bathroom selfie'. She falls for the muscle flexing HERO and gets herself kidnapped too.  

If that's not enough when she figures out that she is kidnapped and the guy she loves is her kidnapper, she asks him to press "ctrl-alt-del" and move on in life. And in one scene when he gets hit by a bullet she prays for his recovery to 'BuddhaJi' , as posh as it gets, Right! 
What she actually needed was a psychiatrist to tell her that she is a bad case of 'Stockholm Syndrome',In which a person falls in love with his/her captor. 

Its a BAD MOVIE, with horribly gone wrong dialogues. Aditya Pancholi looks rough, tough and more appealing than his son. For whatever role, scenes that he comes on screen his presence is felt. Tigmanshu Dhulia, a brilliant director/dialogue writer/actor makes me feel bad to say but was a waste. A very casual, crying, miffed, corpulent police officer, whose reactions are very mild. I was disappointed and i am sure so was he. Sharad Kelkar as brother did his role well. Nothing much for anyone else to do.

Horrible lyrics of that 'lovely' song! Yaadaan Teriyaan , Khoya Khoya and Main hunn Hero Tera... The only three songs that are worth listening. May be because of the singers, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, Mohit Chauhan and our very own Salman Bhai! Who has tried his every inch for this movie to work, but how i wish he would have asked the lead pair to learn some more acting/ dialogue deliveries. Not everyone can be as blessed as Salman Khan, that whatever you do no matter how good or bad it is(Hello Brother) people accept. Also there is an endless list of much much more talented, good looking, well built actors/actresses (struggling) who would have been ready to work their sweat and blood out to be launched as a Salman Khan protegee. It would really have been gracious of you to put your hand on them. Not all kids of actors need to become actors they can be directors/ producers too like Rohit Dhavan, Rohit Shetty, Aditya Chopra and so on. 

I also have a feeling that even Tiger Shroff and Kriti Sanon could have played the lead and this movie would have been better. That guy does much better action than Sooraj's VFX driven jumps, he dances amazingly well and even delivers his dialogues in a much better way than Sooraj Baba. Same between Athiya Shetty and Kriti Sanon, Kriti looks gorgeous,is a treat to watch, dances well  and acts quite well. This would have been a better lead pair for HERO. 
HEROPANTI had better music than this movie too.

In the end just a few scenes to describe the movie,

Sooraj says that , Today is Valentine's Day and its a day when a guy holds a girl's hand and kisses her lips, while saying so he plants a kiss on Athiya's 'cheeks'! ( Papa Sunil Shetty must have been roaming on sets)

I have mentioned earlier but its worth mentioning, its the one where Athiya prays for Sooraj's recovery to Buddha Ji saying that she will leave all her bad habits that include eating Non-veg, Drinking and abusing. So that qualifies her for Maharashtra Political Elections next term with the current , Ban Fashion. 

The reaction Aditya Pancholi gives when he sees Sooraj holding Athiya's hand instead of his is ultimate.

One dialogue that is repeated 4 -5 times by Sooraj is , "Ek GUNDA,  police waaley ki beti se pyaar kaisey karr sakta hai" The film could have easily be named as GUNDA if it was such a major dialogue!

Aah yes there is a twist, sorry i forgot to mention, the villian in this movie Vivan Bhatena who plays the role of Rannvijay Singh Shekhavat and tries to fiddle with the plot for 20 odd minutes is soon killed as the lead rejoins with family and live happily ever after in the end with Salman Khan's voice echoing around the theatre.

Salman Bhai, even i was holding my heart the same way while watching this movie as you did while singing in the title song , but mine was due to the ache this movie gave.

WELCOME BACK

Produced by Firoz Nadiadwala, the sequel to Welcome.... ‘Welcome Back’ features an ensemble cast that includes Nana Patekar, Anil Kapoor, John Abraham, Shruti Haasan, Paresh Rawal, Naseeruddin Shah, Dimple Kapadia and Shiney Ahuja in the lead roles along with a new actress named Ankita Srivastava.

Did you notice the mistake? Its right there in that first paragraph. Did you ? Now? If you think i am talking about casting....You are hell right! 

If Welcome was like a 'chatpati bhel puri' its sequel Welcome back is more like 'sookhi paapdi' there is crunch but no taste that can make it finger licking. It does not even make sense to be compared.

Uday & Majnu have left underworld and have now got into hotel business to lead life as an 'izzatdaar aadmi'. Suddenly Uday Shetty's father (played as a cameo by Nana himself) comes in the scene to inform about his daughter and Uday's sister(Shruti Hassan) from his third wedding. On the other end Dr. Ghunghroo (Paresh Raval) figures out that his wife was married before she met him and has a son from that marriage too, Ajju Bhai(John Abraham). It may sound absurd but the girl and boy meet and create a comedy of errors which leads to some, 'lipping' and then an equally bizarre song.

 Parallel to this a mother and daughter who are con artists (Dimple kapadiya and Ankita srivastava) honey trap Uday and Majnu and they both fall in love with the girl who portrays as Rajkumari of Najafgarh. What do Shiney Ahuja and Naseeruddin Shah do in the movie is for you to watch. 

JOHN ABRAHAM it seems is suffering from Alzheimer. He forgot all his acting lessons that he learned in all these years. With Welcome Back he is back to where he started.He was  trying to be a rowdy is visible throughout. After watching him in movies like Force and Madras Cafe, i felt as if he has evolved as an actor but in front of the likes of brilliant actors like Nana and Kapoor he fails miserably. I mean if Anees Bazmee wished to hire someone for the role of chichora local gunda with comic timing i think he should have called Ranveer singh or Arjun Kapoor. Shruti Hassan compliments him and doesn't act at all but looks beautiful, bless her genes. 

Anil Kapoor and Nana Patekar as Majnu & Uday Bhai are hilarious with their expression and timing from "Bhagwaan ka diya sabb kuch hai" to "Aapki wajah se main kaaydey mein hunn Uday Bhai varna abb takk mere khud ke do teen Al-Qaydey hotey". One needs to give credit to the dialogue writer Raj Shaandilya.Brilliant one liners that makes one laugh and give some solace to the person whose hard earned money has gone in to buy tickets.

Ending is abrupt and absurd, so are songs. Shiney Ahuja and someone with the caliber of Naseeruddin Shah is given the role with a pet line, "Mazaak tha bhai mazaak tha". I feel Feroze Khan shifting in his grave saying, " Kaash hum zinda hotey" , We wish the same!

It is a mindless comedy with a few terrific scenes and dialogues. If it was not for Anil and Nana this film was a big NA NA...